A Vida Moderna

O paradoxo dos nossos tempos na história é que nós temos edifícios mais altos, mas temperamentos mais curtos. Estradas mais amplas, mas pontos de vistas mais estreitos. Gastamos mais, mas temos menos. Compramos mais, mas aproveitamos menos. Temos casas maiores, mas famílias menores. Temos mais conveniências, mas menos tempo para usá-las. Temos mais nível de instrução, mas menos noção. Temos mais conhecimento, mas menos julgamento. Mais peritos, mas mais problemas. Mais remédios, mas menos bem-estar.


Bebemos demais, fumamos demais, gastamos desenfreadamente demais, rimos muito pouco, dirigimos rápido demais, nos estressamos demais, ficamos acordados até tarde demais, nos levantamos cansados demais, lemos muito pouco, assistimos TV demais e oramos muito raramente. Multiplicamos nossas possessões, mas reduzimos nossos valores. Conversamos demais, amamos muito pouco e odiamos muito freqüentemente. Já estivemos na lua e voltamos, mas temos problema em atravessarmos a rua para conhecer um novo vizinho. Conquistamos o espaço externo, mas não o interno. Construímos coisas cada vez maiores, mas não melhores. Limpamos o ar, mas poluímos a alma. Superamos o átomo, mas não o nosso preconceito. Escrevemos mais, mas aprendemos menos. Planejamos mais, mas alcançamos menos. Aprendemos a nos apressar, mas não a esperar. Construímos mais computadores para reter mais informação, para produzir mais cópias que nunca, mas nos comunicamos cada vez menos.

Estes são os tempos de comidas rápidas e digestão lenta. Grandes homens e pequenos caráteres. Altos lucros e relacionamentos rasos. Estes são os dias de renda extra, mas mais divórcio. Casas mais luxuosas, mas lares mais quebrados. Estes são os dias de viagens rápidas, fraldas descartáveis, morais de se jogar fora, transitoriedades, corpos acima do peso, e pílulas que podem fazer tudo, desde alegrar a acalmar e matar. É um tempo em que há um monte de coisas na vitrine e nada no estoque. Um tempo em que a tecnologia pode levar uma mensagem como esta para você, e um tempo em que você simplesmente pode escolher entre compartilhá-la ou deletá-la.

Lembrem-se de passar algum tempo com as pessoas que vocês amam porque elas não vão estar por aí pra sempre. Lembrem-se de dar um abraço caloroso a quem está do seu lado porque isso é o único tesouro que você pode dar com todo seu coração sem custar um centavo. Lembrem-se de dar as mãos e valorizar os momentos com as pessoas pois elas podem não estar lá de novo. Dê tempo para amar, dê tempo para falar e dê tempo para compartilhar pensamentos preciosos em sua mente. E sempre se lembrem: A vida não é medida pelas vezes que respiramos, mas pelas vezes que nosso fôlego nos é tirado em momentos de emoção.

Hoje, só hoje! (Uma mensagem a uma pessoa amada)

Temos passado dias maravilhosos, marcados por projetos, sonhos e realizações. Momentos únicos que não voltam jamais, mas que se renovam a cada novo dia e intensificam-se exponencialmente. Sinto-me feliz hoje, só hoje. E quero que assim seja; quero que esse estado de felicidade exista só hoje e que o hoje seja também só hoje. Às vezes as pessoas vivem tanto o ontem ou o amanhã que o hoje fica sempre pra depois. Aí ele deixa de ser hoje e passa a ser ontem. Então, quero o hoje. Esse advérbio de tempo não delimita o tempo de maneira finita. Hoje é um período de tempo relativo ao presente de quem o pronuncia ou, neste caso, de quem o lê. Então, leia de novo: Hoje. Pronto! Viu só? Hoje é esse momento que você levou dizendo essa palavra. Cronologicamente falando, hoje começou à meia-noite e acaba às onze e cinqüenta e nove. Fora dessa marcação, hoje não é mais hoje. Ou foi ontem ou será amanhã. Mas se amanhã você pronunciar, respirar, sentir o hoje, então amanhã deixará de sê-lo. Será chamado de hoje. Assim, quero te dizer hoje – só hoje, hein! – que te amo. Ouviu bem? Não vou te amar amanhã! Quem diz isso é porque não ama! Ou então essa pessoa descobriu o dom da vidência, já que só nesta paranormalidade é que se pode afirmar algo sobre amanhã.


Somente vivendo o hoje é que tivemos todas essas experiências: hoje visitamos vários países, passeamos com nosso filho, trabalhamos, sonhamos... Enfim, fizemos várias coisas e nem estamos cansados! Imagina só se não fosse o hoje! Imagina só se ficássemos falando que amanhã, mês que vem, ano que vem, daqui a cinco ou sei anos, iremos... blá blá blá...!? Nunca alcançaríamos! Assim, vivamos o hoje! Dessa maneira chega mais rápido. Entonces, tome nota:

Hoje eu quero:

- Fazer amor e fazer sexo com você. Depois quero ver aquele menino lindo nascer. Em seguida, quero levá-lo à escola. Na volta da formatura quero dar aquele abraço em família. Voltar dirigindo pra casa pra ver nossos netos brincando com o presente que demos a eles no dia de aniversário de 7 anos. E só pra variar, no final do dia, quero fazer aquele passeio que fizemos muitas vezes pela praia pra ver o pôr-do-sol.

E aí? Topa? Sei que não ficaremos cansados porque é só hoje. Amanhã é outro dia.

Escrito em 17 de abril de 2006.

Being human

Being born, growing up, breeding and deceasing – four steps every member of the human race goes through. Some skip the third one and others are not given the chance to see how it feels to step up to the second tread. Others do go through all the course of life but don’t seem to live each and every moment – numbness blinds their eyes and enthralls them to nostalgia. For years now I’ve been making attempts to unscramble the nagging existential questions that insist on smothering me. I guess I’m not the only one. Why is it that we’ve named ‘happiness’ but have trouble finding it? Why is it that we are so rational but can’t figure out the conundrum of our purpose on earth?


It is believed that we’ve now reached a period when exhaustion weighs us down and wears us out in every imaginable way. Our intellectual abilities have developed to such an extent that we’d rather silence our doubtful voices than blurt our way through with inconsistent words, devoid of sense. As a result we get stuck in between. In-between happiness and sadness; in-between thoughts and feelings; in-between existence and hibernation. If only we could place ourselves on one side only! How nice it would be if the 24-hour angst took a 24-hour break for 365 days! But, we are too humans to go past beyond the whereabouts of anguish! What remains?

Perhaps we should just settle down for a while. Instead of going towards what 21st century philosophy dictates, we could make a U-turn towards that which pre-high-tech world contended. Instead of stupidly assuming we are what we have or do, we have to wisely confess the true wealth is what we are. Who knows how beneficial unlearning might be? Who knows untying the knots of pseudo-development may definitely liberate us from ourselves? Besides, being human is much more than being able to win the professional rat race or control fast-moving machines. What’s the use of receiving information at 1 Gigabyte per second and being unable to process one iota of that entire amount? It’s time we stepped down the ladder on to the ground under which all of us are going to rot. Having your feet on the ground means getting closer to being human. Having your feet on the ground is standing tall in front of your fears and standing strong for the unabating storms that will certainly come. Above all, having your feet on the ground is having unflappability for the excruciating pain triggered by things we didn’t expect to happen.

Of course if we were to write a life’s lesson or a life operation manual, we’d be in desperate need of psychiatric assistance. Such thing is by no means conceivable. But, we sure can reflect a little bit on this staggeringly beautiful puzzling realm of mankind. And that can be achieved by flying low near the surface of the ground, where everything began and where everything will come to an end. Let’s live the present moment. Let’s be wiser than wise. Let’s not allow problems to take us over. Let’s resume our life cycle. May every waking morning mean another rebirth!

Irmandade

Irmandade, fraternidade. Duas palavras que andam de mãos dadas. E é de mãos dadas que ando com minha irmã querida. Hoje tiramos o dia só pra nós dois. Almoçamos no Outback - Grilled Shrimp on the Barbie, pra variar rsrs. Passeio pela orla de Copacabana, água de coco, e pra terminar o dia um latte com muffin aquecido. Ufa! Estou cheio... E feliz por ter essa pessoa como minha irmã. Obrigado, Carla!

Felicidade

Como é bom estar com uma pessoa que te apoia incondicionalmente! Essa é Janaina, minha esposa. Eu que sei falar tantas línguas fico absolutamente sem nenhuma palavra para expressar o que sinto por essa mulher!

Olha só que casal lindo que formamos!

Réveillon de 2008. E ela sempre ao meu lado.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

By Marianne Williamson
A Return To Love:

Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles,
Harper Collins, 1992. From Chapter 7, Section 3 (Pg. 190-191).
March 18, 2010

Teacher

Many years ago I had a teacher whose husband unexpectedly died suddenly of a heart attack. About a week after his death, she shared some of her insight with a classroom of students.

As the late afternoon sunlight came streaming in through the classroom windows and the class was nearly over, she moved a few things aside on the edge of her desk and sat down there.
With a gentle look of reflection on her face, she paused and said, "Before class is over, I would like to share with all of you a thought that is unrelated to class, but which I feel is very important.
Each of us is put here on earth to learn, share, love, appreciate and give of ourselves. None of us knows when this fantastic experience will end.
It can be taken away at any moment. Perhaps this is God's way of telling us that we must make the most out of every single day."
Her eyes beginning to water, she went on, "So I would like you all to make me a promise. From now on, on your way to school, or on your way home, find something beautiful to notice. It doesn't have to be something you see - it could be a scent, perhaps of freshly baked bread wafting out of someone's house, or it could be the sound of the breeze slightly rustling the leaves in the trees, or the way the morning light catches one autumn leaf as it falls gently to the ground.
Please look for these things, and cherish them. For, although it may sound trite to some, these things are the “stuff” of life. The little things we are put here on earth to enjoy. The things we often take for granted. We must make it important to notice them, for at any time... it can all be taken away."
The class was completely quiet. We all picked up our books and filed out of the room silently. That afternoon, I noticed more things on my way home from school than I had that whole semester. Every once in a while, I think of that teacher and remember what an impression she made on all of us, and I try to appreciate all of those things that sometimes we all overlook.
Take time to notice and enjoy something special you see on your lunch hour everyday. Go barefoot. Or walk on the beach at sunset. Stop off on the way home tonight to get a double-dip ice cream cone. For as we get older, it is not the things we did that we often regret, but the things we didn't do.

July 23, 2010

Another Awakening

Understanding how the human mind works is not easy, neither for the person him/herself nor for the others around them. For eighteen years now I’ve had this disease which was apparently “my way”. Everyone who knows me always said my transient mood was simply what I was like. They were wrong. But I suffered with that. With every little criticism I suffered, I plunged even deeper into myself to look for answers that could justify why I was like that. Literature was where I sheltered and shielded my inconstancy attributing to it some sort of poetic freedom. Books were my companionship when talking to others felt burdensome. It all started suddenly. I began retracting myself to my shell and remained there, afraid of the outside world. I felt as if I were sitting in front of a window, looking out there where trees had sere leaves falling around them due to the freezing breeze that blew. At the background of that landscape were mountains that could hardly be seen because of the foggy air. But there I was. And there I’ve always felt to be all throughout my existence. Hopeless, helpless, just waiting for something I didn’t know. Thoughts running around in my head compelled my body to move towards an abyss. Death was the only thing I believed could really disenthrall me from the rusty chains that had been put around me. Figuring out that turmoil of nonsensical thoughts was something I couldn’t do, let alone the others around me. Whenever a crisis struck, the use of medicine would be made necessary. Eighteen years! Almost two decades of numb sensations, colorless images. Nothing soothed the restlessness; no answers fulfilled the nagging mindset. There had been no justifiable reason for my state of mind. Always that feeling of the odd one out.


Until the day I heard the word schizophrenia when I went to this psychiatrist who could decipher the enigma underneath all that suffering. I had been diagnosed with schizophrenia associated with a chronic depression. It’s a neverending feeling of sadness that has ups and downs. At times it could be incapacitating. I lay in bed for days, quiet, motionless. No hunger, no expression of any kind. Tranquilizers helped lower the high voltage that kept me on all night long, writing nonstop and unstoppably. Antidepressant drugs slowly, but gradually, gave me a feeling of wellness back. But I never accepted treatment. I started taking those medicines, slightly recuperated, then… stopped taking them, claiming I was fine. Only now do I finally surrender to the treatment which lasts at least 6 months. For the first time in my entire life I feel there is a silver lining. That is just good. No questioning, just believing in the possible magical effect of medication. Although schizophrenia is not diagnosable through a blood test or MRI, it has physical symptoms which can lead the individual to destruction. I am not the bad-humored man people think I am. I am not anti-social like it might seem. I have a disease. But like a hypertensive or diabetic person, I can lead a normal life if I stick to the prescriptions. But above all: I must truly WANT it. And I do!

I want to enjoy, not like. I want to live, not exist. I want to be, not question whether I want it or not, like a modern Hamlet. Turning point? Definitely! Being alive is a gift we can’t waste on unanswerable conundrums! Leave those to fiction, which is where the tragic boosts ratings. Real life is much simpler than we think it is. We have been taught to rationalize, categorize things binarily – it is good OR bad, this OR that. It’s about time we unlearned a little bit of all that impractical theoretical verborrhagic rhetoric on to a more practical silenced contempt which makes us feel, listen, watch more naïvely, filtering the poisoned zeitgeist through flamboyant lenses. It’s as simple as that. Let it be. Let’s live.

Friday, December 5, 2008